Jeff Spencer

Archives for April 2018

Rushing Roulette

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Life is filled with choices. We make them all day every day. Some are easy; others are hard. Some have serious consequences; others don’t. One thing most of us learn as we gain life experience is that decisions tend to be easier when we have fewer choices. Let’s take something simple, like breakfast: if you’re at home and your options are a bagel or a bowl of cereal, then your choice should be relatively easy.

If you agonize over that one, then I’m not sure I can help you – that’s a different kettle of fish. However, if you’re in an excellent breakfast place with great food and your options seem limitless, then things get more complicated. Omelets, pancakes, biscuits, huevos rancheros, French toast, yogurt with fresh organic fruit – they all speak to your belly and you want them all. A little bit of waffling is completely understandable.

But you have to choose one.

In that scenario, what most of us do is slow down, think it through, and make a good decision. We know the world isn’t going to end if we tell the server, “I think I need another minute to decide.” There’s no reason to be hasty.

Now let’s transpose this situation to one that’s more consequential than breakfast. A business decision, a life-trajectory decision, or a serious relationship decision. One where there are several options, and none of them seem to recommend themselves over any other.

A common mistake people make when facing big decisions with multiple options is they rush. They’re afraid things are going to fall apart if they don’t make a choice as soon as possible. Unlike the restaurant scenario, they don’t take time to evaluate their options. They get in a frantic tizzy. They shoot first and ask questions later. This almost always ends up in a net-loss, because the choice is made from fear and anxiety rather than clarity and confidence.

Watch and Wait

Here’s the solution: don’t act until one of your options moves to the foreground and the others recede into the background. Be patient. Exercise restraint. Watch for movement. Wait for the moment one choice emerges as the clear and obvious favorite, then act on that one. That way you won’t be stuck with a rash decision made in haste.

Instead, you’ll achieve the best outcome with the least effort.

I call that a win, no matter the scenario.

Your Lucky Charm

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I see the strangest thing happen with some of my clients. They have everything they need for success – they’re smart, motivated, and creative. They possess both a solid work ethic and a positive mindset. Combined with a little bit of luck and the ability to recognize and capitalize on opportunities when they present themselves, these qualities should be enough for them to rise to the top in any field.

They should be able to take charge during challenging situations, make the right decisions, and move forward with confidence.

But something holds them back.

They encounter a critical, high-stakes situation, and suddenly – for reasons that escape me – lose faith in themselves. They lose their ability to evaluate, navigate, and negotiate the best possible outcome. Instead of believing in their strengths and trusting their unique and formidable mix of personal assets, they look to something outside themselves.

You might not believe me, but I’ve seen rational, intelligent, mature adults abandon their own instincts and instead place their faith in things like special amulets, lucky charms, a rabbit’s foot, or some sort of magical potion.

If you laughed, it’s okay – it makes me laugh, too.

Because it’s kind of absurd.

Faith Beats Fear

Let me clarify: the right kind of faith beats fear. Placing your faith in a worn brass trinket you picked up from a street vendor in Thailand when you were twenty-three is the wrong kind of faith – especially if you believe that trinket is what gets you through tough situations. That kind of robs your power, dilutes your self-belief, and puts you in a hole you may not be able to climb out of.

If that’s the wrong kind of faith, then what’s the right kind?

Faith in yourself.

Forget the trinkets, the magic potions, and the lucky t-shirts. Get rid of anything you have an unhealthy dependency on, because those things never were and never will be the reason you succeed. The reason you succeed is you. As soon as I see my clients veering toward superstition, I tell them to take personal responsibility, engage the challenge head on, and believe they have everything they need to master the situation and make the right choice.

When they shift their reliance from external things to their internal power, they resolve difficulties, overcome challenges, and move forward with greater confidence. Then, when they come back to me and thank me for the advice, here’s what I tell them:

Your real lucky charm is you.