When we first adopted our daughter at the age of ten from Columbia, she didn’t speak any English. And what was really critical to me was that we set the tone for her to be able to do certain things. Number one was to learn the English language because she was now in America and to do that required a lot, but to also develop her sense of compacity and her directionality toward her bigger future because she didn’t have any of that from her first 10 brutal years in Columbia.
One of the things that I did, I knew that anything that I said to her would get stuck with her in her memory. It would be there. It didn’t matter the language because the body would know what that is. As she went from Spanish to becoming bilingual with English, then she would be able to retrieve what I was saying fundamentally. Attach significance and a meaning to that.
One of the several things that I said to her was don’t worry you’re always going to have something to eat. That was her primal instinct because she grew up in such abject poverty that getting food was really a matter of getting it by any means possible; I think you can read through the lines there.
The second thing I said to her every time she went to school or went out to play with her friends or whatever was don’t be average. And I didn’t say that because I wanted her to be a product of my will for her for my own sake, but it was really for her sake. I wanted her to know that there was another level of play that is possible for her compacity as an individual. Because she is a really smart kid. When she was tested she tested at a ten in terms of critical thinking skills. She got a zero on everything else simply because she didn’t know the language. That other thing came through. I wanted to make sure that her subconscious, that would become her conscious, was really directed on this idea of not being average. Because I really feel we are put her on this earth for a purpose and that is to manifest our best contribution. Which is our uniqueness that can be manifested in the goals that we achieve that not only contribute a life of value for us but to humanity, as well. Her going from abject poverty plus ten other things that I won’t mention because of the horrific nature. To only say or to talk about a living breathing example of what is possible, its her. For her sake alone, just to be able to manifest, see and live a life full of competency and capability. That inner potential was really important to me because of the enriched life experience that we all get as we develop that skill, itself.
The fact that I always said to her “don’t be average” was not a command, and some people will criticize “wait a minute it should be in the affirmative like ‘Be extraordinary’” and for some reason that just didn’t feel right to me for her. It’s interesting because I recently asked her about it. I said you have heard me say this everyday to you for the last ten years, was that the right saying? Or would you have rather heard “be extraordinary”. She said, “well I didn’t even really know what that was because where I came from I couldn’t even consider extraordinary I was just absorbed with surviving moment to moment. Wondering where my next meal was meaning where is my next garbage can. That I couldn’t of even consider that. But when you said to me don’t be average I realized that where I was wasn’t where I wanted to be. Because I don’t like the performance and the opportunities of particularly where I am. So, every time I heard that and as I became more familiar with it as I knew what it was and gained my English it was like a metronome running in my background as a filter everything ran through. It helped me stay on track and outrun some of the demons of my past.”
I really fundamentally believe that we owe it to each other to be an advocate for each other. There’s got to be a standard. If we look at todays world, we can’t descend fast enough into abject levels of mediocrity that makes everyone of us just another drop of water in the seed of life. Where we are actually forfeiting why we are here. Our greatest gift to share; Create a life of value based on contribution. We really owe it to each other to do that. Encourage ourselves to transcend from where we are to a higher level of play. I am always reminded of that.
What I really want to say you is to pass it on! And I’ll pass it on to you. Don’t be average! We aren’t here to be average. We are here to honor our talents. There is only one of you in all of creation. We can do some extraordinary things with our uniqueness.
Now, that obviously require us to show up for duty and turning the pedals of that bike to get to where we want to go. But it all starts with a target of some sort. The mind body and soul don’t like ambiguity. So, when we put the target of not being average out in front of us, it conjures up visions of what we are capable of and what we actually want, if we are willing to give ourselves permission to pursue that.
I’ll close with saying, don’t be average! I hope you hear my voice each and every day because that is my intention that I extend to you that I also did to my daughter that I want you to extend back to me because I’m listening, that’s what I want to hear. No body at any point of their life is beyond that.
We owe it to each other to call each other to a higher game!
