People who know me understand I have a single-minded, intense focus on one thing: achieving excellence. Regardless of the field—creative, athletic, business, or otherwise—I work to create champions. I’m not talking about the top five or ten percent. I’m talking top of the top, best in field, highest step on the podium. I teach people the daily habits it takes to become a champion, then reinforce the habits it takes to stay on top.
One thing I tell my clients over and over is this: you never do it alone. It takes a strong support network of people as committed to greatness as you are. Your relationships with the people surrounding you are essential pieces of the championship puzzle – and sometimes those relationships need to be modified to meet your goals. Changing the contours of these relationships can be especially difficult with people you’re close to.
You know things need to change, but you don’t know exactly what, when, or how to say what needs to be said to make those changes. Often, what happens is you choose your words too carefully, dance around the topic, or spend so much time agonizing about how to address the issue you miss the best moment to have that tough conversation.
The Relationship Renovation Blueprint
If you need to have a hard conversation with someone close to you, follow these three steps to make sure you communicate what’s needed with the right words at the right time:
- Don’t rush. Analyze the situation that needs modification until you’re certain the path forward is crystal clear.
- Sit with your decision. Let it marinate. Let some time pass to make sure you’ve chosen the right course of action. You’ll know it’s right because your mind, body, and soul will be in harmony. You’ll feel calm and collected. It won’t feel like a cold, calculated intellectual exercise – you’ll feel confident, compassionate, and humane.
- Wait for the right moment to have the conversation, then engage. You’ll know the time is right because it will feel just like the moment you chose your course of action: your mind, body, and soul will feel calm, and your inner conviction will feel unshakable.
When you present your ideas from a place of sincerity and respect, you dignify both yourself and the person you’re talking to. They’ll understand what you need. They’ll make the changes you request because they’ll feel your strength, intention, and clarity of purpose. Then you’ll both be on the same path—the path to excellence.
