Jeff Spencer

Rushing Roulette

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Life is filled with choices. We make them all day every day. Some are easy; others are hard. Some have serious consequences; others don’t. One thing most of us learn as we gain life experience is that decisions tend to be easier when we have fewer choices. Let’s take something simple, like breakfast: if you’re at home and your options are a bagel or a bowl of cereal, then your choice should be relatively easy.

If you agonize over that one, then I’m not sure I can help you – that’s a different kettle of fish. However, if you’re in an excellent breakfast place with great food and your options seem limitless, then things get more complicated. Omelets, pancakes, biscuits, huevos rancheros, French toast, yogurt with fresh organic fruit – they all speak to your belly and you want them all. A little bit of waffling is completely understandable.

But you have to choose one.

In that scenario, what most of us do is slow down, think it through, and make a good decision. We know the world isn’t going to end if we tell the server, “I think I need another minute to decide.” There’s no reason to be hasty.

Now let’s transpose this situation to one that’s more consequential than breakfast. A business decision, a life-trajectory decision, or a serious relationship decision. One where there are several options, and none of them seem to recommend themselves over any other.

A common mistake people make when facing big decisions with multiple options is they rush. They’re afraid things are going to fall apart if they don’t make a choice as soon as possible. Unlike the restaurant scenario, they don’t take time to evaluate their options. They get in a frantic tizzy. They shoot first and ask questions later. This almost always ends up in a net-loss, because the choice is made from fear and anxiety rather than clarity and confidence.

Watch and Wait

Here’s the solution: don’t act until one of your options moves to the foreground and the others recede into the background. Be patient. Exercise restraint. Watch for movement. Wait for the moment one choice emerges as the clear and obvious favorite, then act on that one. That way you won’t be stuck with a rash decision made in haste.

Instead, you’ll achieve the best outcome with the least effort.

I call that a win, no matter the scenario.

How to DIY Success

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To DIY or Not DIY

I love it when coaching clients arrive loaded with self-belief, confidence, and determination. I sense it right away by the way they carry themselves and the way they talk. They meet life head-on, relish new challenges, take responsibility for managing their time and energy, and hold themselves accountable for their actions.

When I meet a truly scrappy, Do-It-Yourself type, I know half my job is done. I get to skip the basics—attitude, positive self-talk, productive daily habits—and get straight to fine-tuning. It’s like the difference between teaching an entry level-college class and a graduate seminar. The foundational knowledge and skills are there. My job is to take them to the next level.

There’s only one problem: they think they can do anything. They hate asking for help. Success in one thing makes them expect success at everything. When they try something new and things don’t go right, they think the problem is them—so they work harder. They put pressure on themselves to conquer any challenge they face.

Typically, this is an attitude I praise. With some people, though, it backfires: their greatest strength becomes their greatest weakness.

Available Means, Resources, Self-Awareness

No one can possibly know everything or predict what skills they’ll need to handle the curveballs life throws their way. Belief and talent only go so far. Specific knowledge takes care of the rest. Confident people often end up spending way too much time fighting battles they can’t win. Through no fault of their own: they simply don’t have the wiring, experience, or ability to do it all.

If I just described you, take my advice: know thyself. Know when to ask for help.

I once had a client who was very successful in her field. She wanted to share her knowledge with the world, so she decided to create an online tutorial. But she had no experience creating online teaching programs. That didn’t bother her, because she’s a self-starter. She showed me what she had—and it was a train wreck. I knew if she didn’t get professional help, at least three bad things would happen:

  1. Her customers wouldn’t get the help she wanted to give.
  2. She’d look unprofessional.
  3. She’d lose business.

Instead of the win-win she was after, she set herself up for a lose-lose.

I connected her to a colleague with high-level expertise designing online educational programs. They put their heads together and created an amazing tutorial. I got an email from her the other day—beta testing was complete, the course was wildly successful, and I was thrilled for her.

Always get expert help before you need it—otherwise, your dream might become a nightmare.